7 Societal Rules You Can Ignore (If You Want To)
Have you ever “broken the rules”? Or are you a rule follower? Or, like me, do you follow the rules you agree with, and tend to ignore the rest?
Now don't get me wrong. I think rules are often a good idea. Especially when they do worthwhile things, like protect people. It's the unwritten rules of society, telling us how we should think and behave, that I sometimes have a problem with. I mean, if we were all the same, how boring would that be?
Of course, this is just my opinion. You might not agree. And that's fine. If you like the rules below then by all means follow them. Many do. But if you find it liberating to forge your own path, you might relate to the sentiments below.
The Unwritten Rules
You have to get married
Marriage is still the ultimate goal. But if you have to “live in sin”, that’s better than nothing. At least you have someone. Take it from someone who chose to remain single, you can have a full and satisfying life as an unmarried.
You have to have children
No, you don't. Oh sure, there's the pride and joy. But there's also the stress, the pain, and the disappointment. Raising children is a lot of hard work. I think many parents aren't prepared for that part. If you want children, great. If you don’t, then don’t.
You have to go to college
It's true that people who go to college tend to make more money, but not always. And it’s very expensive. Meanwhile, there are a lot of trades out there that pay well and don't require a four year college degree. Maybe a two year community college might be a better fit.
You have to have a great job and make a lot of money
Part of comparing ourselves to others is figuring out who has the best job and makes the most money. (Rather than who is most satisfied in their job.)
You have to spend a lot of money
We must keep up with the Joneses (whoever they are). We have to own a house and it must be as big, if not bigger, than our friends'. Our cars newer. Our toys fancier. Our vacations more exotic. It's like a never ending contest of one upmanship. But you can choose not to play.
You have to always keep up your appearance
I've heard a lot of women complain about the extra expense and effort involved in keeping up their appearance. The hair, the makeup, manicures, pedicures, waxing, hair coloring, highlighting, clothes, shoes, etc.
Now, if you like getting fixed up and looking your best, then by all means do so. It can be a great morale booster and give you confidence. It can also be a pain in the butt.
Slowly but surely, I have given it all up. First the heels and bras, then the hair coloring and lately the makeup (except for special occasions). And guess what? The world didn't come to an end.
Now true, I’m not looking for a mate. And I’m at the age where I'm invisible anyway. I'm also retired and don't have to keep up appearances for work. So, this might not be right for you at this time. Keep it in mind though.
You have to drink alcohol when socializing
Full disclosure – I don't drink alcohol. I have nothing morally against it, it just isn't for me. In my 20's and 30's I experienced a lot of pressure (mostly teasing) to drink at social gatherings.
I "faked it" for a while, but these days my friends and family are used to it and it's a non-issue. It's also more socially acceptable not to drink these days. So if you don't want to, then don't.
Conclusion
Societal pressure is nothing new. Long ago conformity kept us alive. We needed to be part of the group to survive. And let's face it, it feels good to be part of the group.
Sometimes conformity is good and keeps us safe. Sometimes it's bad and causes us to do things that are harmful to ourselves or others. We make decisions every day on whether or not to follow the crowd. It's a delicate balance that we don't always get right. All we can do is keep trying.
What do you think?